Being romantic doesn’t come easily for many people. There is a difference between love and romance. If you want your husband to be more romantic, you’re asking him to learn a new skill. Be patient and the reward will be worth it.
You’ve been romancing your husband and wooing him in all the ways you can think of, just hoping he will return the favour. You leave subtle little hints like jewellery catalogues spread all over the kitchen table but yet he dives right them straight to the Bunning’s Summer Sales Report.
The truth is, in a perfect world, your partner will romance you right back. Maybe he will even go above and beyond your romantic expectations. However, if he isn’t romantic, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He probably just really sucks at being romantic.
Instead of doing something to make you feel special it can make him feel awkward or under pressure to “know what to do”.
Everyone has their strengths and if romance isn’t your partners biggest strength you have a few choices. You can train him and educate him on Romance 101, or you can hold it against him forever.
You can reaffirm if he isn’t throwing rose petals on the bedroom floor and laying out champagne and strawberries for you, that he doesn’t love you. Instead of holding in the hurt and disappointment, I say, go for option A so you can grow your relationship instead.
Here are some tips to encouraging romance from your husband:
#1 Don’t Nag Him
Let’s start with the most important thing. Romance isn’t something you can force on another person. It has to come from the heart. That means nagging or demanding your husband to be romantic won’t work.
Instead, it will result in resentment and stress. Starting a fight over getting the romance back isn’t going to help things. Accept that this isn’t something you can force and be patient. Instead of nagging give him suggestions so he can get it right!
#2 Take The Lead
Start by taking the lead and show your partner how much you love them. Be the person to make the daring moves, plan the date night, play your special song, light some candles and open a nice bottle of wine.
The idea is to get the ball rolling. Romance is contagious as is shows of affection. Get things started and don’t be surprised if your husband reciprocates a few days later with some romance of his own. If it doesn’t happen right away, don’t give up.
#3 Show Your Appreciation
There’s something else you can do to get things moving toward a more romantic and affectionate relationship. Show appreciation for what your partner does. We have so much going on between work, raising kids and keeping the household running smoothly. Sometimes romance falls by the wayside.
We can easily slip into a rut that we don’t feel like our partner appreciates everything we do. It’s hard to feel romantic when that happens. Thankfully there’s a quick cure.
Show your appreciation. Tell your partner how much you appreciate what they do. Be specific. Tell your know how hard he works and provides for your family. It’s nice being acknowledged for what you do. This is a great tip for communication too.
Catching each other doing something right and making a big deal about it. Just like we can when we find our partner doing something wrong! Dwell in the good stuff instead!
#4 Give Helpful Instructions
You may think your partner isn’t showing you affection and isn’t being romantic when in fact he or she is… it just happens to be in a different way.
You may be looking for a long conversation or hearing words of affirmation, but your partner may be showing you how much he or she loves you with gifts or acts of service. Try to gain an appreciation for how your husband expresses love and affection. Give suggestions on other ways he can show you he loves you.
There is always a particular thing that makes us feel loved up and special. If your husband isn’t hitting it on the head, then you need to give him some helpful instructions. Showing love and feeling love can be achieved in different ways so you want to know you’re doing it right!
While you can’t force romance but you can make room for it in your marriage by suggestions and demonstrate it. Take the lead if it’s important to you. Making an effort and having a conversation about it will go a long way to making it happen.
Great relationships and marriages take effort and commitment. Keeping the spark and passion alive is well worth the effort. What effort are you willing to put in to grow your relationship?